Reading, Writing & Re-writing.

Monday, February 5, 2018

September 10, 2015

Movies in the United States and abroad have created ideas about marriage that involve two people "falling in love" and ​all of their dreams coming true. The ​story-line​ is usually a romantic​ love story ​with a couple who beats the odds and overcomes the challenges that threaten their relationship. Sometimes in the end, the inseparable couple gets married, and as we all know.. they live happily ever after. But is that what it's like in real life?

Here are some of the details of my marriage that aren't usually included in the entertainment industry's portrayal of a perfect marriage:

  • Our happily ever after did not start the moment we read our vows. It started around 7 years after our marriage and it didn’t happen until we learned enough about each other, life and ourselves to reconcile our differences and live in harmony with one another (this can take a long time and it is usually not portrayed in movies).

  • Romance is not what led to our love story becoming a "happily ever after". I have found that caring about someone and showing concern is a more reliable relationship tactic than sensing out romantic (emotional) highs.

  • Problems did not cease the moment we started living a happily ever after. There are still challenges and problems will always show up sooner or later but that is not a part of our marriage per se, it's an aspect of life.

December 1, 2017

So to cut to the chase, a perfect marriage is one that involves mutual respect, trust and an ability to understand each other. If a husband & wife (or wife & wife / husband & husband) have that, they are in a perfect marriage. It might not always feel perfect but feelings don't always reflect reality.